Friday, January 8, 2010

The Wow Factor

Like a first kiss. That first conversation. A breath of fresh air. Its so refreshing. Wow. That is all that you can think, to yourself as you replay everything back in your head. Its definitely not love. Too soon. Its just wow. It’s the wow factor. We all go through it upon the introduction of a new interest. It plays out something like this:

You meet. You exchange numbers. You play the waiting game of who calls who first. Then the call is made. Maybe it’s a text. Maybe it’s a bbm. That first conversation does one of two things. It either makes or breaks this new relationship. The first conversation is always fun. Its like the interviewing process, where you ask each other every question that comes to mind. It consists of trial and error. So at what point do you realize that you want to pursue a second conversation? When or how do you realize that this person is actually worth more of your time, in the near future? A few signs may be:

Few, close to no awkward silences. Plenty of laughs. A lot of in common qualities. The ability to agree to disagree on the uncommon qualities. The mentioning of a second conversation and/or a “date.” And for some, the feeling of “it just feels right.” If the initial conversation consists of one or more of the above mentioned, then you have just landed into phase 2 and nine times out of ten, you will leave that conversation with a slight case of the “wow factor.”

Now lets fast forward into phase 2……..Does your conversations, whether via telephone or face to face STILL consists of the laughs, non awkward silences and more common interests? We all get to a point within in relationship, romantic or platonic, where we realize that the relationship is either going to be a benefit or a load of sh**. The success of any relationship is based on the longevity of the “wow factor.” If and when you make it past the initial conversation, how long does that person leave you with a bold “wow” stamped on your mind? Have they wooed you long enough where even 6 months down the road, you still silently wow yourself, as if you had just met?

For me, it is very hard to come across a long living wow factor, but when I do, I am like a hooked fish because the wow factor is so hard to come across. So what wows me? Intriguing and genuine conversations. Common interests. Being taught something that I had never learned before. A conversation with a driven and goal oriented foundation. Personality. Laughs, laughs and plenty of laughs. If I engage in a conversation that consists of those qualities on a normal basis, then I have officially been hit with the “wow factor.” Now everyone’s definition of their own wow factor will be different and individually based. So to know the level of your expected wow factor, you must first know what it is that you want, need and expect to make and keep you happy. The good thing about the wow factor though, is its natural and doesn’t really have any set rules. Its raw, its there and you just know. The wow hits you unexpectingly and you find yourself saying it, without really saying it. It may not actually be the word, but the feeing that your mind is having. Your mind is in a state of wow.

The life of my longest wow factor started in 2000 and ended in 2009. For those nine years, I was in love with a man, whom I could not be with for many reasons. He knew how I felt about him, but because of many different circumstances, we just couldn’t/wouldn’t be. The day that he decided that I was the one that he wanted and was looking for this whole time; the day that he told me to my face, after not seeing each other in years, that he wanted to make US work; this day was the day that my nine year wow factor had officially died.

To this day, I still wonder why it took so long, was it me, was I wrong, was I being selfish and so many other questions, but the truth was, no matter how hard I tried to dig for an answer, my wow factor could not be resurrected. I had been facing this factor for so long, without it being reciprocated that my wow had finally died off.

The wow factor is a wonderful feeling. It makes you feel tingly on the inside. For me, I am like a blushing and giggly school girl. I love the wow factor and I wish that I could experience a longer version of it more often, as I date. At the same time, because the wow factor is a special feeling, everyone will not experience the longevity of it, but only those special someone’s who will hold a certain spot in your heart. Just think, everyone who has ever left you with a long lasting wow factor, is probably someone that you will never forget. An ex, your first love, your first heartbreak, etc. we experience some of our best and worst times with these wowers. I just know that I am looking forward to the day when I experience my final wow factor and it will be a lifetime of the wow factor. Everyday that I wake up next to him. Everyday when I fall asleep next to him. His smile. His joy will be my joy. Our life together, as one. Now at that point, it will no longer be the wow factor, but he shall become my Mr. Wow For a Lifetime. Wow.

By Monisa Mason

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